Baby Fighting Sleep: Why and How to Help

For adults, sleep is the dreamiest. Seven to eight hours of snuggling up with your pillow and no responsibilities? Who wouldn’t want that?

While you may welcome sleep, your baby may fight it off with tiny, closed fists, even if he’s exhibiting strong signs of tiredness. It’s not because he’s trying to make an important work deadline or watch just one more episode of Loki.  

What’s the deal? 

All babies are different, so the reasons for resisting the urge to sleep can vary. Take a look below at some of the most common reasons babies burn the midnight oil to identify what your baby is struggling with and learn the best strategies to help him (and you) catch those oh-so-dreamy Zs.

Your Baby’s Circadian Rhythm Hasn’t Developed 

Our circadian rhythms regulate when we sleep and wake through the release of melatonin (the hormone that lulls us to sleep) and cortisol (the hormone that wakes us up and keeps us alert). If your baby is younger than 4 months, it’s likely her circadian rhythm hasn’t developed yet. This means her melatonin and cortisol production doesn’t follow a consistent schedule. 

What can you do to solve this sleep issue? 

Circadian rhythms naturally develop around the 4 to 6-month mark. However, you can help foster this development with a few tricks, including: 

• Establishing regular sleep and wake times – Until your baby’s circadian rhythm learns to stick to a schedule, you’ll need to take the lead. This means establishing and sticking to set bed and wake-up times. Eventually, this will help your baby’s circadian rhythm learn the proper schedule for releasing melatonin and cortisol. 
• Developing a consistent pre-sleep routine – A consistent pre-sleep routine can help your baby learn to associate certain nightly rituals with sleep. Start the routine about an hour before your baby’s scheduled bedtime to ease her into dreamland. 

Pre-sleep routines can include: 

• • Giving your baby a warm bath 
  • Singing a lullaby
  • Rocking your baby
  • Reading a bedtime story 
  • Massaging your baby gently 

• Encouraging melatonin production – Melatonin is naturally produced in response to darkness to lull us to sleep at night. When we’re exposed to light, melatonin production comes to a halt. To encourage your baby’s melatonin production, keep the lights dim during your pre-sleep routine, and consider investing in blackout curtains to prevent early morning light from waking your little dreamer before her scheduled wake-up time.  

Your Restless Rugrat is Overtired 

As adults, we understand that becoming tired is normal. It’s not a reason to stress, but a reason to sleep. Babies, on the other hand, haven’t quite grasped this concept yet. As counterintuitive as it may seem to you, your baby may be resisting sleep because he’s overly tired. And when a baby becomes an overtired baby, they become stressed. This triggers the release of adrenaline and cortisol. That’s right—cortisol, the hormone responsible for waking us up and keeping us alert, is also triggered by stress. This is an evolutionary response designed to keep us safe from danger. 

When we’re stressed, our bodies aren’t sure if it’s because we’re late to a meeting or because we’re being chased by a stampede of water buffalo. No matter the situation, the body releases cortisol to make sure we stay awake and alert during highly stressful situations. For your baby, this stress-induced cortisol production keeps him in his awake window, further contributing to his stress and creating a vicious cycle of sleeplessness. 

What can you do to solve this sleep issue? 

To break this tired baby cycle, stay alert for early cues that indicate your baby is tired, including rubbing his eyes, yawning, and fussing. When you notice these signs, put your baby down in his crib for a daytime nap or for the night to encourage sleep and circumvent the stimulants caused by being overtired. 

To learn more about when babies learn to sleep on their own and how to get your baby to sleep without being held, read our linked blogs! 

It can also be helpful to keep track of your baby’s awake times and sleeping times to ensure he’s reaching his ideal sleep duration. When sleep is broken up between nighttime sleep, daytime naps, and instances of fighting sleep, it can be difficult to accurately determine how many hours your baby is actually snoozing away. By keeping a log, you can know for sure whether your little one is sleeping too little and easily becoming overtired. 

During your baby’s first year, his sleep needs will look like this: 

• 0–3 months – Your baby will average between 16 to 18 hours of sleep in a 24-hour period. This sleep should typically include 3 to 5 naps during the day, each lasting between 20 minutes and 3 hours. 

• 4–6 months – As your baby grows, he’ll need less sleep (but only slightly less). He’ll average around 12 to 16 hours of sleep each day, with 2 to 3 daytime naps, each lasting between 1 to 2 hours. 
• 6–12 months – During this time, your baby will continue to clock about 12 to 16 hours of sleep in a 24-hour period, but most of his sleep will take place at night, with naps reducing to two a day. 

Your Baby is Experiencing a Sleep Regression 

If your baby’s sleep stubbornness is a new occurrence, she may be experiencing sleep regression—a period during which once-skilled sleepers suddenly have difficulty settling down for the night. 

Additional signs of sleep regression include: 

• More frequent nighttime wakings
• Increased fussiness and irritability
• Persistent nap resistance 

Sleep regressions are a normal part of every baby’s development. While these regressions (fortunately) only last between 2–4 weeks, they (unfortunately) can occur more than once during your baby’s first year. In fact, sleep regressions are often associated with specific developmental stages. 

You may notice your baby experiencing sleep regressions at: 

• 4 months – The 4-month sleep regression can be due to the development of your baby’s circadian rhythm, or the progression of your baby’s sleep cycle from infant sleep cycle to adult sleep cycle. It may also be due to teething pain, which is accompanied by excessive drooling and chewing (on her crib, her toys, your fingers—basically whatever she can get her mouth on).

• 8 months – Around this time, your baby may be resisting sleep because she’s learned to sit up, roll over, and crawl on her own, and those activities are just way more fun than sleeping. 

• 12 months – At 12 months, many babies learn to take their first steps—a huge milestone for both baby and parent. But the way you celebrate this milestone may differ. Your baby will likely want to celebrate by walking, walking, and more walking. After all, she’s just discovered this exciting new skill. Who has time for sleep when there’s more walking and discovering to do?  

What can you do to solve this sleep issue? 

If your baby’s sleep regression is due to developmental milestones, try sticking to your pre-bedtime routine and maintaining her sleep schedule as best you can to help get her back on the right sleep track. You can also watch for signs of tiredness to ensure she’s in her crib when sleep finally does hit. 

If your baby’s sleep regression is due to teething, you can alleviate her pain by: 

• Offering a teething ring – Solid plastic teething toys that can be kept in the fridge or freezer and provided at the right time to bring cooling relief to your baby’s sore gums. 

• Dabbing excess drool – Excess drool that may linger on your baby’s face can cause rashes to develop, which can lead to discomfort during the night. By dabbing that drool and investing in adorable baby bibs, you can help prevent additional discomfort. 
• Distracting your baby – Sometimes, simply redirecting your baby’s attention can distract her from her sore gums. At night, try using a white noise machine. The comforting whooshing sounds may cause your baby to reminisce about the good old days in Mom’s womb and forget about those incoming teeth. 

Your Mini-You is Suffering Separation Anxiety 

Separation anxiety is a common cause for the 8-month sleep regression, as this anxiety typically develops in babies around 8 to 18 months old. Around this age, your baby’s emotional attachment to you, his primary caregiver, becomes even stronger. After all, you’re the one he can always depend on for yummy food and snacks, thrilling playtimes, and warm, Mom-scented cuddles—it’s enough to make anyone obsessed! 

Around this time, your baby also begins to understand the concept of object permanence—the idea that objects and people still exist even when they’re not visible. This means when you’re not around, your baby knows you’re somewhere else, without him. Essentially, he’s experiencing some serious FOMO, and he’s not happy about it.  

What can you do to solve this sleep issue? 

One way to address your baby’s separation anxiety is by sleep training him with the Ferber Method. This baby sleep training technique allows you to check in on your little one after putting him to bed for the night, and implements predetermined wait times between check-ins. As the night progresses (and with each night of training), you extend these wait times.

For instance, your first night of trying the Ferber Method would look something like this: 

• First check-in – Occurs after waiting 3 minutes 
• Second check-in – Occurs after waiting 5 minutes 
• Third and subsequent check-ins – Occur after waiting 10 minutes

Over time, the Ferber Method helps your baby learn that even when you leave, you’ll always eventually return. During the day, games like peek-a-boo can further ingrain this idea and reduce your baby’s separation anxiety. 

Your Baby Has Colic 

If your baby is crying in sleep, you may need to take a completely different approach. If you can’t uncover a reason to explain your baby’s incessant crying and refusal to sleep, she may be suffering from colic—frequent, prolonged, and intense periods of crying in an otherwise healthy infant. 

However, Colic typically begins when babies are around 2–3 weeks and can peak around 6–8 weeks. Your baby may have colic if, for no apparent reason, she cries intensely for 3 or more hours at a time, at least 3 days a week, for more than 3 days in a row. 

What can you do to solve this sleep issue? 

Colic generally subsides on its own around 3 to 4 months. For parents of a colicky baby, this timeline may feel more like 3 to 4 years. Don’t panic just yet—there are tactics to help calm your colicky baby and encourage her to sleep. 

Because the cause of colic is unknown, finding the strategy that will be most effective in consoling your baby will require some trial and error. You can try: 

• Swaddling your baby – Swaddling provides your baby with all-over pressure and warmth, which can make her feel as though she’s nestled safely back in Mom’s womb. Reference our article “When Can Babies Sleep With a Blanket” for more information on swaddling, sleep sacks, and baby blankets! 
• Mimicking comforting sounds – Shushing sounds mimic what your baby heard while she was growing in Mom’s womb. By recreating these sounds with a white noise machine or by shushing your baby as you hold her, you can remind her of the security she felt in the womb, which can promote calmness.
• Swinging your baby – Like the hypnotic sway of a pendulum, slowly and smoothly swinging your baby can induce relaxation and hopefully make her very sleepy. 
• Offering a pacifier – Giving your newborn a pacifier can satisfy her desire to suck, which can help settle her down for sleep. 

Understanding and addressing common sleep challenges like an undeveloped circadian rhythm, overtiredness, sleep regressions, separation anxiety, and colic can dramatically improve your baby’s sleep habits, ensuring healthier growth and development while also granting parents some much-needed rest. By employing strategies such as establishing regular sleep and wake times, identifying early tiredness cues, maintaining consistent pre-sleep routines, handling sleep regressions appropriately, addressing separation anxiety, and soothing colic symptoms, parents can successfully navigate through the maze of baby sleep issues and help their little ones drift into sweet dreams.

Sources:

1. What to Expect. What Is Sleep Regression? https://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/sleep/sleep-regression/
2. What to Expect. How to Get Your Baby to Stop Fighting Sleep. https://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/sleep/baby-fighting-sleep/
3. Healthline Parenthood. Why Do Babies Fight Sleep? https://www.healthline.com/health/parenting/why-babies-fight-sleep
4. Parents. How to Soothe a Colicky Baby. https://www.parents.com/baby/care/colic/how-to-soothe-a-colicky-baby/
5. Parents. How to Handle Separation Anxiety in Babies. https://www.parents.com/baby/development/separation-anxiety/how-to-handle-baby-separation-anxiety/