When Do Babies Learn to Sleep on Their Own

Watching your little bundle of joy learn to hold up her head without support, mimic sounds on her own, and grab her toys without your help can feel a lot like witnessing a miracle in real-time. Wasn’t she just a newborn? How is she growing so quickly?

As you find yourself sneaking out of her bedroom on all fours after singing her favorite lullaby (“Please Please Go to Sleep”) for the umpteenth time, you may start to wonder: when do babies learn to sleep on their own?

While most babies can learn to sleep on their own when they’re between 4–6 months old, they need someone to guide them. Fortunately, there are several sleep training techniques to help your little one learn to fall asleep (without relying on your nightly nursery performances).

Your Baby’s Sleep Timeline

When it comes to sleeping, babies are inspirational. Because his body is rapidly growing, he’ll clock 14 to 17 hours of healthy sleep within 24 hours during the first 6 weeks after birth. This sleep is broken up with meals every 2–3 hours (ideal for baby development, not so much for Mom’s beauty rest). Luckily, as your baby’s growth rate slows, the amount of sleep he’ll need will shorten, and the length of his sleep intervals will extend.

Around the 6-month mark, two-thirds of babies can sleep 6 to 8 hours through the night (we’ll pause so you can do a celebratory dance). To help your baby fall into this 66.6%, you can implement some (or all) of the following practices:

• Give him a pre-sleep meal and bath
• Create a calm sleep environment
• Read a story
• Sing a lullaby

Despite these routines, which ease your baby into knowing when it’s time to sleep every night, you may still find that he refuses to fall and stay asleep unless a parent is present. He might:

• Cry when you leave his bedroom at night
• Cling to you when you try to put him down for sleep

Which brings us to you, silently crawling out of your baby’s room once he’s finally fallen asleep—not the most ideal sleep training method for your baby. This is where understanding sleep training best practices comes into play.

Sleep Training: The Secret to Helping Your Baby Sleep on Her Own

If you’re wondering how to get a baby to sleep without being held. Especially, when the baby is fighting sleep or when the baby is crying in sleep, sleep training might be the answer.

Sleep training refers to the process of teaching your baby to fall asleep on her own and self-soothe if she wakes during the night. You can start sleep training as early as 4 months old, as most babies are capable of self-soothing by this point and typically don’t require nighttime feedings.

By the 4-month mark, your sleeping cutie’s circadian rhythm will be more fully developed. The circadian rhythm is the internal clock that helps regulate the body’s sleep and wake states, allowing for greater consistency in sleep schedule or sleep pattern—whether you’re an adorable 4-month-old or a sleepy mom.

Starting Your Sleep Training Journey

There are many sleep training methods to choose from because Parents and babies have varying comfort levels with different learning styles. Every method has something in common: each one begins with placing your baby in her crib before she’s fully asleep. By doing this, she’ll learn to see the crib as a place for sleep, making it easier for her to fall asleep there on her own.

In contrast, if your baby is constantly falling asleep in your arms, in the car, or in her stroller, she’ll learn to see those places as the right spots for a snooze. While this may seem adorable at first, it’ll lead to a baby who refuses to sleep in her crib (or as she now sees it, that weird dungeon Mom keeps trying to put me in). Plus, when your baby falls asleep outside of the crib, you run the risk of waking her when you try to move her.

To ensure your baby is in her crib before she drifts off to dreamland, watch for signs of sleepiness, such as:

• Rubbing eyes
• Yawning
• Fluttering eyelids
• Closing fists

Once she’s in her crib, your sleep training can begin.

The Most Common Sleep Training Methods

You know, probably better than most, that your baby isn’t like any other. In fact, every baby has his own unique characteristics when it comes to everything from eating to sleeping. This means the best method for how to get a baby to sleep on his own will depend on your baby’s unique sleep tendencies and developmental timeline.

If a sleep training method doesn’t seem to be working after a week, don’t worry! You can try a different method or combine aspects of several methods to find a system that works best for both you and your restless sleep rebel.

The most common sleep training methods are:

Extinction Method – Also referred to as the cry it out method, the idea behind the extinction method of sleep training is allowing your baby to fuss and cry during the night without soothing him. Essentially, you let him “cry it out.”

• How it’s done: To start, place your baby in his crib when he’s tired, but not asleep. Then, leave the room and don’t return until his scheduled wake-up time.
• The pros: You can expect to see improvements in as little as 3 to 4 nights as this method encourages your baby to quickly learn to self-soothe and fall asleep on his own.
• The cons: Crying it out may result in a few sleepless nights for Mom and Dad where they too may want to cry it out. It can also be difficult to ignore your baby’s cries for comfort.

Ferber Method – Also known as graduated extinction, the idea behind the Ferber Method is similar to the extinction method. The difference is that the Ferber method utilizes timed check-ins to help ease your baby into independent sleep. This teaches your baby to fall asleep on his own while showing him that you’re always there, even if he can’t physically see you.

• How it’s done: When your baby is sleepy, place him in his crib. Then, leave the room and wait 3 minutes before checking on him. During your check-in, avoid holding him or soothing him with touch. After a moment, leave the room again. This time, wait 5 minutes before returning to check on him, extending the length of time between each subsequent check-in.
• The pros: Studies have found that the Ferber method typically improves infant sleep in about 1 week. This method can also feel less jarring than the cry it out method.
• The cons: Some parents find that repeatedly leaving and re-entering the room actually causes their baby more distress.

Pick Up, Put Down, and Pat – The idea behind this sleep training method is to allow your baby to fall asleep on his own, but provide him (and yourself) a little more comfort than you would with the extinction and graduated extinction methods.

• How it’s done: Place your baby in his crib when he’s sleepy, but not asleep. Rather than leaving the room, you can stay with your baby while he falls asleep but avoid letting him fall asleep in your arms. Instead, gently pat or place your hand on his tummy to reassure him as he drifts off. Once he’s asleep, leave the room (walking out, not crawling out). If your little one starts to cry, you can return to his room and gently pat his tummy, or pick him up to soothe him, but leave the room before he falls back to sleep. The idea is not to linger, but rather to show your baby he is safe, settle him down, then allow him to fall asleep without you.
• The pros: Maintaining physical contact can reassure your little one and encourage a smoother transition into independent sleep.
• The cons: This method isn’t recommended for babies older than seven months, as repeatedly picking up and putting down an older child may be too stimulating.

Chair Method – The chair method is similar to the pick up, put down method, but removes the physical support. The idea here is to provide your baby with emotional support, but not the physical support he’s likely dependent on for sleep.

• How it’s done: When your baby is drowsy, place him in his crib. Then, sit in a chair directly next to his crib as he falls asleep. Once he’s busy snoozing, you can leave the room. If your baby starts to fuss or cry, return to the room, but simply sit in the chair beside the crib until he falls asleep again. Every night, you can move the chair farther away from the crib until you’re no longer in the room as your baby falls asleep.
• The pros: Because you stay in the room with your baby until he falls asleep, this method can limit the amount of crying you have to endure during the sleep training process.
• The cons: Because this method is more gentle, it generally takes longer to work than other sleep training methods. In fact, your baby may not learn to sleep on his own until several weeks of training.

Sleep Training Tips

Although hearing your baby fuss and cry during the sleep training process can be difficult, at the end of the day, your baby needs consistent sleep (and so do you!). While sleep training, remember that your baby’s crying is only temporary, while the sleep habits she’ll develop from learning to fall asleep and self-soothe on her own will promote more consistent and efficient sleep for everyone involved.

For babies, sleep is an essential factor in:

• Memory consolidation
• Language learning
• Physical growth

For parents, better sleep can reduce symptoms of depression, improve overall mood, and enhance alertness during the day when your well-rested explorer is ready to grab, knock over, and teethe on whatever she can.

Here are some helpful tips to effectively sleep train your little one:

Establish a Bedtime Routine

By establishing a consistent nighttime sleep routine, you can help your baby become tired around the same time every night, which will strengthen her circadian rhythm.

Consider starting your nighttime sleep routine about an hour before your baby’s scheduled bedtime. Your routine can consist of bonding rituals such as:

• Giving a warm bath
• Reading a bedtime story
• Swaying or rocking
• Massaging
• Singing a lullaby

Create a Dreamy Sleep Environment

To help lull your little snoozer to sleep, you can create a sleep environment that takes her back to the serene bedroom that started it all—Mom’s womb. To accomplish this, consider:

• Dimming the bedroom lights to set the mood for sleep
• Investing in blackout curtains to block out the early morning sunlight
• Setting the temperature to between 68 degrees and 72 degrees Fahrenheit
• Removing any distractions from your baby’s line of sight
• Utilizing a white noise machine, which mimics the sounds of Mom’s womb

Note: Consider reading our blog “when can babies sleep with a blanket” before adding that to your little one’s cozy nook.

Stay Confident

You are your baby’s guiding light—her North star, her one and only. If you’re feeling frustrated or anxious about sleeping training, hang in there! Every baby is different. The method that worked for your best friend’s baby may not be the right fit for your little one. That’s why there are multiple sleep training methods. Try out different methods until you find the one that works for both you and your baby.

Stay confident in your ability to sleep train, and your baby will pick up on this and feel reassured throughout the process. After all, even your little one can sense that Mom knows best. So don’t worry—you got this!

Sources:

1. NCBI. Infant sleep and its relation with cognition and growth: a narrative review. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5440010/
2. Stanford Children’s Health. Infant Sleep. https://www.stanfordchildrens.org/en/topic/default?id=infant-sleep-90-P02237#:~:text=Most%20babies%20don’t%20start,basis%20by%20age%206%20months.
3. Cleveland Clinic. When and How to Sleep Train Your Baby. https://health.clevelandclinic.org/when-and-how-to-sleep-train-your-baby/
4. Today’s Parent. 6 most popular baby sleep-training methods explained. https://www.todaysparent.com/baby/baby-sleep/most-popular-sleep-training-methods-explained/
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8. The Baby Sleep Site. The Ferber Method Explained – Age to Use, Separation Anxiety, and Is It Harmful? https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/the-ferber-method-explained/
9. NCBI. Infant sleep training: rest easy? https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5962992/#b7-0640041
10. Healthline Parenthood. Does the Pick Up, Put Down Method Work to Get Your Baby to Sleep? https://www.healthline.com/health/parenting/pick-up-put-down-method#how-to-do-it
11. Sleep Training Kids. The Sleep Training Chair Method: What You Need to Know. https://sleeptrainingkids.com/the-sleep-training-chair-method-what-you-need-to-know/
12. What to Expect. Using the Chair Method of Sleeping Training to Get Your Baby to Sleep. https://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/sleep/chair-method-sleep-training/